Infinispan connection refused

I'm trying to setup a very simple infinispan x-site setup, composed of 2 keycloak instances that embed infinispan. I created the following entry in my xml configuration:

<outbound-socket-binding name="remote-cache">
  <remote-destination host="${remote.cache.host:localhost}" port="${remote.cache.port:11222}"/>
</outbound-socket-binding>

However when I start my app (with the option -Dremote.cache.host=<remote_site_ip>) it fails with a CacheException Unable to start cache loaders, caused by a Connection refused Exception.

I have two questions:

  1. How do I bootstrap my cluster ? Is it not expected that there's a connection refused during the setup phase, since they're not started on both sites at the very same time ?
  2. I don't see anywhere that the application is listening to port 11222, and it doesn't appear in netstat. How do I configure this ?

Any help would be greatly appreciated,

thanks.